I feel like complaining.
About the singing voices in the house... today they just seem like cacophony to me. Makes me wonder if my housemates felt this way too when sometimes i burst into tunes?!
About my monotonous life. When i was working, i couldnt wait for holidays to come. Now that they're here, I feel like im not making full use of them.
About my lack of confidence in everything. The doubts that I have about my own abilities, my EQ, my IQ, my personality, my goals and achievements, my beliefs, my everything.
My inability to complete the tasks that i set out to do. Everything is left half- quarter- way done.. worse still, some are discarded even in the cognizant stage (pardon me.. I've been learning vocabulary lately and they say i should throw in such bombastic words to practise).
And im going to officially step into adulthood in a couple months' time. So many experiences I lack, so many things i desire, tell me when will i get the chance to?
Argh. The once non-stop ringing of the house phone has stopped ringing for me. =( It's kind of sad really.. that all the "Can i speak to zijing please?" were transient moments... fleeting... gone, went, flew away. Now, without the array of a dependable, school classroom structure that provided the environment for me to make friends, find company, and develop lasting friendships, I know that i can easily become a hermit and restrict myself to a small world of my own.
Replacing this safe haven is a world where people are preoccupied with their own commitments, where they ask u several times what's your name, and then claim that Chinese names are difficult to remember! i should call myself Jean. i like the name jean. A world where you sometimes meet someone only for 1 day. Serendipity, one might call it. But serendipity occurs everywhere and don't count unless serendipity reoccurs at a different time and different place! But will it?
Okay i better stop here before people get wild ideas and before i get carried away.
About the singing voices in the house... today they just seem like cacophony to me. Makes me wonder if my housemates felt this way too when sometimes i burst into tunes?!
About my monotonous life. When i was working, i couldnt wait for holidays to come. Now that they're here, I feel like im not making full use of them.
About my lack of confidence in everything. The doubts that I have about my own abilities, my EQ, my IQ, my personality, my goals and achievements, my beliefs, my everything.
My inability to complete the tasks that i set out to do. Everything is left half- quarter- way done.. worse still, some are discarded even in the cognizant stage (pardon me.. I've been learning vocabulary lately and they say i should throw in such bombastic words to practise).
And im going to officially step into adulthood in a couple months' time. So many experiences I lack, so many things i desire, tell me when will i get the chance to?
Argh. The once non-stop ringing of the house phone has stopped ringing for me. =( It's kind of sad really.. that all the "Can i speak to zijing please?" were transient moments... fleeting... gone, went, flew away. Now, without the array of a dependable, school classroom structure that provided the environment for me to make friends, find company, and develop lasting friendships, I know that i can easily become a hermit and restrict myself to a small world of my own.
Replacing this safe haven is a world where people are preoccupied with their own commitments, where they ask u several times what's your name, and then claim that Chinese names are difficult to remember! i should call myself Jean. i like the name jean. A world where you sometimes meet someone only for 1 day. Serendipity, one might call it. But serendipity occurs everywhere and don't count unless serendipity reoccurs at a different time and different place! But will it?
Okay i better stop here before people get wild ideas and before i get carried away.
posted by Zig | 8:24 AM
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