I am standing on the shoulders of whom who stood on the shoulders of giants.

That's the way how things should be, how the world will progress.

So many things happened lately. I feel so busy, so tired out, and have many thoughts whirling in my mind, but don't have the time to sit down and think, or even have a good chat with someone who can listen to all my cares and woes.

Last saturday i went with my housemates to a good friend's enagagement party. there were many middle-aged and elderly british people at that party, wine and delicate finger foods were served. some trivial details: i was wearing this zara girls tee-shirt and felt really out of place, not least because i looked so horribly kiddish amongst most others who were of certain maturity. someone even commented that i looked 16! Sigh. Anyway, that afternoon in Beeston i was shopping for an engagement card for the first time, and it WAS a queer experience, because suddenly I knew that i had come of age. 21 years old, I am an adult. and my social activties suddenly included being invited to an engagement party. It isn't like those times when i was young and tagged along with parents to go for a wedding dinner. this time i went as an independent person, accountable for my own self and having my own identity rather than as someone's daughter/sister. My fren's fiancee knelt down and proposed to her in the middle of the party; background music was playing chinese instrumental pieces, wine glasses klinking, looking around at the smiling faces of the british people, and of my other friends', it was all SO surreal. I felt like an outsider, looking in.

On Sunday, i went around university capturing the autumn scenes before they disappear from my sight. Later was in the library doing some reading. Then, my housemate texted me to say that our neighbour's house caught fire! and it was the house of my friend who got engaged the previous night! I called my other housemates who were at church immediately, and not before long we all congregated outside 24 and 26 Highfield Road. it was pretty dramatic; fire engines were still parked out there, and there was the police too. Amongst us were other Singaporean friends who are currently working in Nottingham. We had one structural engineer, one architect, and one lawyer, seemed as if all the necessary expertise were around!! goodness. my room was affected by the smoke too, cos the room that caught fire was on the same level and virtually just next to my room, separated by a bathroom. how did the accident happen? Nothing that was potentially a culprit was found, save for a mirror. The firemen hypothesized that the sunlight (that day was very bright and sunny, and the curtains werent drawn) rays got caught on the mirror, which reflected onto a piece of paper.. and i suppose the bright spot just got brighter and hotter till the point where the paper caught fire! and then it just spread! the whole room was blackened from the smoke, made totally uninhabitable. Luckily, no one was home at that time and no one got injured. The firemen smashed the front door to get it.. it was all very very dramatic.

This is one weekend that i'll never forget. Even when i am a spectator at these two extreme occasions, i feel this sense of uneasiness and amazement at how things as different as these two occasions could have occurred just a day apart. My sense of balance is tipped and i think so have some others who are affected. Thank God that everyone's well and alright.

Dear friends, how have u all been? Havent heard from some people in ages. When the guys were still in NS, i still saw people online and chatted more often. Now, everyone's got into the grine of Uni life, even i seldom go online anymore. Keeping contact ain't as easy as it sounds. Do leave comments on my blog or email me if you're free. tag board is still unfixed.. i havent got the time!

Offside! Oops.
Travel! Oops.
Footwork! Oops.

Netball.. a game that i'm beginning to like quite a bit! Even though I must be the lousiest person in the team, the most inexperienced, the one who makes the most number of fouls.. the one who tires most easily. Panting, panting, faintish.

Really don't have the stamina to sprint, stop, chase, defend, attack, catch and throw. I take deep deep breaths.. but still when my heart's pounding and telling my brain to stop and rest, I really can't see any other way out! Only hope that on saturday I can sustain intensive 10 mins with a minute's rest in between.

I heard that real netball tournaments can get really competitive, and when players take things personally, things become rough. Last year someone fell and ended up with a bloody chin. I hope this year players are friendlier.. hope everyone will be ok! Gotta equip myself with sheddable layers of clothing (weather will be really cold), ointment from mom, plasters, any 1st aid related items.

What can I say? This year so far has been busy. Don't get me wrong, Im happily busy. Busy with my final year project, which i've just finished piloting. Designing an experiment on my own (with much help from my supervisor of cos!), seeing it take off, coupled with the uncertainty of how the results would turn out, whether my hypotheses will NOT be proven false.. it fills me with a sense of ownership and excitement! I'm like a mini-researcher! Haha.

The little gal from china is simply adorable. I met her at her school on Monday. Such a sweet, quiet gal. It must be really difficult! Being in a class where NOBODY speaks your own mother tongue, where you simply don't have the capacity to speak to them in English, where your teachers look at you and only smile when you utter faltering Mandarin words to them, and receive no response. Verbal interaction at its minimal. I have yet to find out more about her, her family background, everything else. The class is currently teaching the Victorian times, and the ethinic minority support teacher actually presented me with 3 photographs of a typical Victorian home and asked me to point the different items out to the gal and correct her! Oh my! Even i, a 21 yr old, felt verbally challenged. But the dangerous advantage i have there is to blabber nonsense Mandarin and NOBODY would know im wrong. BUT.. my morals shall guide me :) I tell myself not to hope to affect this child much.. how much i can give, i will. But 2 hours a week is perhaps all i can afford, and it's not much at all. But it's better than nothing i think...?

Getting late... i should be sleeping soon.

My birthday came, my birthday went. Im 21 + 1 week old! Some photos that i took in london chintown, sing nite, some some celebrations with frens :)

Today, went to Leicester to a friend's place for lunch. To call her a friend feels a little funny.. because she's almost as old as mom. Met her as a diploma psychology conversion course student.. and she's just such a special person. And i admire her perseverance, openness and determination to improve herself even when there are so many things weighing her down. Sometimes there are ppl you meet whom you just want with all your heart to wish them well, and that they'll achieve whatever that they want.. that their lives would just go smooth-sailing from here. she's one of them :)

Latest update: Im gg on Monday to Bramcote Hills Primary School for an initial meeting as a Language Buddy to a 6yr old gal from China. Im so excited! Really hope that this proj will turn out well... for her to become more comfortable with speaking english and finding companionship with a Mandarin-speaking "big sister".. and for me to put some psychology into practice, to learn to teach, befriend someone much more junior than myself, and to hopefully be some kind of a role model. Perhaps it's still too early to tell how everything will turn out, but im excited and optimistic : )